This time, it's mine.

A year before this, I wonder how I was. 

It’s labour day today, had LifeGroup today (: This time they came to my house, and I was so excited, so was my mum and dad, that they prepared so much food that my friends and I were stuffed by the end of the day! I really love this bunch of people so much, friends and spiritual siblings that God has blessed me with. 

Actually, yesterday I had the strangest excitement within me, the kind that I really could not explain. The only reason why I could sleep is probably because I slept so little and was just fatigued! So I slept 11 hours (:  

Today’s LifeGroup was really great. Each and everyday I see God being more and more faithful, which really gets me excited for the work God is going to do in my life and the lives of others. 

The word that was shared in LG today: 2 Cor 12:1-10

12 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. ² I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. ³ And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— ⁴ was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. ⁵ I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. ⁶ Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, ⁷ or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Let us all boast in our weaknesses for Christ. I believe that God’s message for the Lifegroup today was really for this, that we must really uphold our weaknesses to him, as he is the only one who can love us completely for our shortcomings. 

Also, Jun accepted Christ as a savior today :D So happy for her that she will be sharing the life that we all will share as Christians (: Also, for the Lifegroup, that we are not stagnant and that we’re continually sharing God’s love to others around us! I can’t wait to see what more will come through God’s people (: 

I really wanna spend more time on this but… Okay I shall at least spend some time to do work, be a good testimony :D

Miracles, miracles. The greatest miracle ever (:

I’m thankful for God to being faithful. Yesterday, I was heading to the airport to send off the dancers and meet my best friend for dinner. But I was broke, so expected to withdraw money from the ATM there! Went up to the ATM, it read

“Only dispenses 50 dollar notes” 

I only had 10 bucks inside haha. So I scrambled all over, in search of another ATM which could somehow grant me my money for dinner ): AND I FOUND AN ATM YES. So I tried to withdraw my money.. BUT

“You can only withdraw 20 dollars and above”

GONE. My best friend wasn’t to arrive till an hour later and I was starving, on an empty stomach only filled from breakfast. So what did I do? I walked into Macs. Haha I guess I was just there to stare and emo at the food I couldn’t afford. I looked at the Cheeseburger: $1.50, and thought, “If only God would let me afford that little” Then I was about to walk off when I decided to peek into my wallet. Haha miraculously, there was like random coins from my bag and pocket and wallet which amounted to $1.50! SO I CHIONGED TO THE COUNTER AND GOT MY FOOD. HAHA

Truly God provides, in the most funny and unexpected situations. I’m really glad God is being so faithful in what I do (: 

This coming week will be a battle. Excited for what God’s gonna do, continually, in my life for him. We died to ourselves, such that God can work thru us. LETS GO JON (: 

Yet I’m still here heh. I guess I really do enjoy this reflection time I have, whether or not I have time (: 

Do you ever have days where you feel like it’s you up against the world? That you’re having to fight against this thing called life where its an uphill battle. Well, to say that I had one of these days wouldn’t even begin to express what it’s been like! Tiring, mundane, I really wished that I could just pursue what I enjoy in life, like Writing Music and all that stuff that I like. But hey, it’s life isn’t it.

“Is this your battle, or mine?” - This few words kept filling my mind as I continued to whine and whine, when I realized God was actually speaking to me. (Haha I’m still ever amazed at how blind I can be to God’s word at times that he has to tell me countless times before I see it :X Thank you God!) This kinda told me (for the dunno how many millionth time) that God is in control. Prayer prayer prayer prayer. That’s all I need now.

And hmm. I still have no idea what to do with my compositions.

Haven’t used tumblr in ages, gonna use it to organize my thoughts for today (:

This week and the week before really really was draining me out. I was so focused on doing and doing and doing and getting things done that I’d lost sight of God’s provision again. It seemed like my ‘burst-like’ faith was showing again :/ But God really came thru for me again, I was so hungry and really desperate for him to renew his love in me again, and he did. Today. During LifeGroup, God’s presence was just so strong and really touched me, not just once, but over and over. God really revealed so much of his plans to me today, and I’ve been really blessed.

Musicfest - The thing about Musicfest. To be honest, though I’d been telling myself from the start that I wasn’t in it to win it, but somehow reveal God’s love to others thru me, I really still had some selfishness in me to want the recognition and attention. I was actually struggling with this for the days leading up to the event, till the day of musicfest, when everything was so messed up that I really just had to rely on God’s provision alone. 

Then came the results. 3rd. It was then I realised that ”Hey, Jon. Stop kidding yourself, God knows and you know what your heart has been desiring. Denying it isn’t any better than indulgence.” —> So for the past few days I was really asking God to help me change this belief in me, that selfishness for self, rather than Christ. And I really thank God for showing me that in LifeGroup today (: Gotta stay accountable for this and continue to work at it! 

CCA - Recently, I quit dance. But then re-joined. In the time I quit, God actually did show me so many things that I’d not seen before. Like it really showed me how it was like, living on the assurance that God will provide, solely trusting in him and him alone. My mind and friends were telling me how important it was to have a portfolio, but in God’s eyes, and if we did see eternally, these things don’t matter at all. This may sound hypocritical, as I didn’t ACTUALLY quit, but in the short span that I did, I really really did experience a lot of God’s presence. But in the end, it turns out that God has a plan for me in this CCA after all. 

I’ve been trying to be the testimony God wants me to be, as well as to love people unconditionally. It’s not easy, and I’m still learning. But one thing I really learnt recently is what it really means to Love people with the Love of God. Prayer, consistently really really works. As we love the individual with God’s love, our own love towards the person will grow as well (: It’s impossible to claim that “I LOVE THAT PERSON WITH GOD’S LOVE” yet in our own hearts have resentments towards him/her. 

Ministry - I joined a ministry recently, Housekeeping. I really learnt the beauty in serving God, as in the heart behind the acts of service, rather than the act itself. My duty is relatively simple, clearing the communion cups and cleaning the chairs when necessary. —> However, what really hit me was that though anyone COULD do this, who WOULD? In God’s eyes, no ministry is above the other, for they are all different parts of the body that serve different purposes but ultimately for God’s plan (: 

1 Cor 12:12-20

¹² Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. ¹⁴ Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. ¹⁵ Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸ But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

Really praying for God to humble me more and more each day. 

I realize that I prefer typing to writing on a book, when it comes to my devotion, so I guess this would be a good idea (: 

No matter how often you say that you are able to be independent, God is always there. Sermon today, really was so so so timely (: Faith vs Fear. One moment we have great faith, another moment, great fear. But God’s in control no matter what we do. We didn’t earn our salvation or gifts, it’s all his grace!

Honestly, I’ve been just trying to be more stable as a Christian, more consistent in prayer life. So much so that I’ve been also trying to be independent, that I drifted from LG. I was so shocked today when I found out about the state of it all. Like what I thought God wanted me to do was actually me trying to do alone what God could have actually done thru me. It’s not that my spiritual walk has been dipping or lukewarm, but without sharing life and embracing LifeGroup members, our walk is just never as complete :/ So even as I try to continue to build myself up, I gotta remember not to forsake my dear loved ones!

And what everyone shared today in that little hotel room is really gonna help us build upon one another and start this year (again) with each other right! The storm, as sherms said, may not even have reached it’s worst, but now I know what they’re going thru and gotta step up to make that difference (: MAN POWER HAHA.

And argh I really gotta take care of my health lah. Been pushing myself so hard cos of dance and all the pressure from it. This is something I really gotta commit to God and believe completely! :D Like pastor Jeff’s prayer for us all today!

Believe me, just this morning I was so uncertain of everything, but now God’s made so many things so much clearer (:

So many things I want to pursue, so many things I gotta do. God just be the center of it all.